


MHXX Commits Tax Fraud.

by OnionWizard



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen, Tax Fraud, Taxes, mhxx deserves her own tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29712009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnionWizard/pseuds/OnionWizard
Summary: It's that time of the year, and a certain Heroine feels the pressure to file the dreaded documents. Luckily her Master is adept at these kinds of things, and offers to show MHXX the ropes. Terrified over the prospect of bankruptcy over her sense of justice, the two prepare to commit one of the worst crimes that humanity has ever instigated:Tax Evasion.
Relationships: MHXX l Foreigner /Original Master(s) (Fate)
Kudos: 3





	1. Episode 1: The Realization of Impending Doom

Tax season had once again descended upon the denizens of the Servant Universe, which was a lot like the ordinary universe normal people lived in if you could ignore the multitude of planets that housed Heroic Spirit-level organisms and the sheer amounts of ether that gave the Sapphire Galaxy its name. And since tax season was present there, it was naturally the same time in the universe where Chaldea resided.

And for one Mysterious Heroine with a penchant for Saber and Foreigner-slaying, it was a time of great dread and despair. Even if she was now in Novum Chaldea, even if the whole Earth had its reality erased six ways through Sunday and several Lostbelts were around messing with the natural order, she knew tax season had come. It was, as they say, inescapable. Not even being in another universe would protect her. Those accursed tax collectors from the Intergalactic Revenue Service would know.

“Maaasteeeeerr! Oi, Master! Open up!” MHXX knocked on the Last Master of Chaldea’s door with the velocity of a jackhammer. 

The door promptly opened to reveal a young woman with black eyes and matching hair, in a rabbit onesie. She looked positively tired with bags under her eyes and severe bedhead. “Whaddya want?”

The desperate heroine shook her shoulders violently. “It’s tax season! This is a crisis of cosmic proportions!”

“Ayayayayayayaya!” The Chaldean Master wobbled around like a drunkard after being released by MHX. “That’s what you called me for?”

“Do you not understand? Tax Season! Is! Upon Us!” 

“Tax season...tax season…” The pajama girl blinked and stood still for a couple of seconds, until her brain finally broke through its internal internet dialup. Then, her eyes widened in realization. “AAAAUGH! It’s that time of the year again! We have to file taxes!”

“Yes, and that’s exactly the problem,” stated MHXX. “You see, Luluhawa was a paid vacation of sorts. I managed to capture a Foreigner, so I’ll be sure to get my benefits from the Galactic Police. But now that I work for Chaldea, Da Vinci is paying me in regular money. From this universe.”

The Master rubbed her eyes and yawned. “And that is a problem because…?”

MHXX wailed, tears springing in her eyes. “This universe doesn’t accept my Cosmo Currency and vice-versa! I’ll never be able to make exact calculations on deductions! What’s more, the scales have shifted from Foreigner-hunting to persecution of those with the Arts affinity! I’m going to get a higher tax burden for my Noble Phantasm designation!! Please, Jun, you gotta help me!”

Jun took a deep breath. “X, there’s one thing I have in mind. I’ve been doing this for around two years now, and so far no one has said anything about it.” She put a hand on MHXX’s shoulder. The blonde heroine sniffed. “And what would that be?”

“It’s simple, X. We commit tax fraud.”

“Wh- Whaaa?!” MHXX’s eyes threatened to pop out of their sockets. “Are you serious? T-t-t-tax evasion?! That’s a serious violation of federal- no, intergalactic law!”

Jun smiled with closed eyes. “I know my ways. Like I said, this isn’t my first rodeo.”

MHXX’s shoulders slumped. “You can’t be serious. My Master, my reliable wallet, my ticket to those heavenly Earth meals, actually engages in underhanded methods to evade the IRS?” Her disappointment was immeasurable but the day was not ruined just yet.

The Master crossed her arms in pride. “Actually, I’m simply taking advantage of the fact that there _is_ no IRS coming to persecute me. Humanity has been erased, remember? As far as I’m concerned, I don’t owe them anything, not in the last year or two. And if I recall correctly, X, you’re not a shining pillar of society either.”

“Huh?” The Foreigner raised her eyebrows. "When I was just X I was very disciplined, I'll have you know! I made it a policy to murder every Saber on sight, without fail!"

“What about the time you thought tacking another X to your family name after joining the Galaxy police would default all those debts you incurred? And those student loans? It worked, right? You didn’t need to pay for that because you, too, found a loophole.”

MHXX grew indignant. “Ghh- do you know how expensive room and board was at Cosmo Chaldea Academy?! Principal-President Edison would have hounded me for years if I didn’t do that! And even then, Ecchan ate me out of house and home...” Her face fell, recalling the tyrannical roommate and her sweets addiction. “I will never forget the salty taste of Cosmic Noodles. Never.”

“No, I completely understand. Advanced educational institutions take so much of our money, and leave us with barely enough to get by. So see? We all have our reasons," said Jun. "As your Master but more importantly, as a dear friend, I’ll help you get what you deserve.” Jun stepped back into her room. “Just let me change and we’ll get started, OK?”

That seemed to satisfy MHXX. “Alright, Master! I’ll be waiting for you in the cafeteria!” With a wave goodbye, the Foreigner made her way to Chaldea’s culinary paradise. Hopefully that Nameless Red was on duty today, because together with Master, she was not going to pull off a criminal maneuver with an empty stomach.


	2. Episode 2: Filing Start! Claim a Dependent!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you want something done right, always check with an expert. Today's guest character is a certain dinosaur who is an expert in this financially dubious subject...what universe are we in again?

“Ah, Master! You’re here!” MHXX waved eagerly as her now tidied up Master came into view. A huge reptilian creature followed her, cloaked in a white garment. "Who's this?"

“Our case has to be flawless,” said Jun as she set down a plate full of fruit in the table where MHXX was devouring bowls and plates of assorted foods. “Or else we might actually incur the wrath of an extraterrestrial tax-collecting entity. So as a precaution, I brought along someone who does this even better than me. MHXX, this is Momiji. She’s my tax fraud sempai!” 

The Master gestured towards her enormous guest, the Berserker Kijyo Koyo. With an amused grunt, the dinosaur gave a small bow. “Momiji says it is a pleasure,” explained Jun. “Well, that’s what it feels like she’s saying.”

MHXX felt her Police Instincts (E) flare up upon being notified of another criminal. But...this Berserker had no sword, and she was clearly not a Threat to Humanity. Yes, this can be excused. There was absolutely nothing wrong here! 

One abuse of a second cafeteria helping later, Master, Berserker, and Foreigner headed to the Computer Room. It was essentially a corner of the Command Room that went unused due to the staff only taking up the center area. Thus, some computers went unused or were mercilessly poked and prodded by AI entities like BB or curious fellows like Babbage. How the King of Steam managed to fit in there without setting off a humidity alarm was a mystery.

In any case, that was their destination. Today looked to be perfect for shady actions- the staff was busy monitoring the World’s status, data, and other useless technicalities while no one was around in the empty corner. No one seemed to care that a dinosaur casually made her way here, either. Such was the attitude of a desensitized staff belonging to the institution that was to save humanity.

“Let’s pick a monitor and get taxing,” said Jun cheerfully, taking a seat. “You brought the TurvoTax and your papers, right?” 

“Mhmm.” MHXX booted up a computer, its screen flaring to life with various letters and numbers running across the screen. She furrowed her eyes in concentration. “It always astounds me that Earth technology is so far behind, but that the food here is eternally delicious,” she muttered.

Finally, the computer gave way to the TurvoTax startup screen. “Alright Master, let’s get to filling these boxes!” The space sentinel’s fingers went flying, typing at a speed that would make even a certain carrot Rider feel slow. But the eagerness didn’t last long because MHXX came across something disturbing on her screen. She became petrified, mechanically turning towards her Master and Koyo with wide eyes.

Jun peered at the screen, then to MHXX’s documents, and back to the screen. She shook her head in disbelief.

The preemptively completed report showed a final balance in the negative thousands. Deductions upon deductions stacked themselves over the hefty payroll, rendering any sign of green useless. A charge for Twinmyniad insurance. A charge for immigrating to another galaxy. A charge for anti-Insanity insurance. A charge for Arts (that’s it, just being Arts). A charge for temporarily leaving the Galactic Police and joining another company even if it was for the greater good. A mandatory charge as an offering for the Capitalism Outer God. Yes, it was spelled out exactly like that.

Koyo gave a sympathetic roar. “...holy shit, X. Your former company is the worst. And this is without the debts from earlier times, huh?”

“...was that from you Master, or Berserker?”

“Both of us,” replied the Master with a serious tone. “What kind of ridiculous report IS that? The Arts increase I understand, but you don’t even qualify for any kind of break? You’ll end up with no money at all if we don’t do something! This is injustice!” 

Koyo made a low rumble and gestured at the distraught MHXX. “Oh, Momiji is saying that she has an idea.”

With gestures from her tiny arms and various noises, the dinosaur explained her plan. “Uhuh...right…ok...” Jun put a hand to her chin, striking a perfect thinking pose. “You really think that will work?” 

The Berserker nodded, and the Master smiled. “Well, if you say so sempai.” 

She turned to face MHXX, who was staring at the screen in despair. “We have a plan. Kind of. And it starts with Mordred.”

“Muh-Mordred?” The Foreigner looked taken aback. “That good for nothing son of mine who kept wrecking my castle walls back when I was just a Saber-slayer? What’s Mordred going to do?”

Jun placed a hand on her hip and pointed at MHXX. “Actually, it’s what _you_ are going to do. And for the record, Mordred is a very good breadwinner now that she’s taken up surfing!" The Master could imagine the former Saber now, surfing under the brilliant sun with a laugh that echoed summertime joy. "Oh, am I so glad we have another one of you running around as a Caster-” Koyo gave a stern grumble, frowning at her Master. “Oh right, sorry Momiji. I’m getting off topic. What you need to do is claim her as a dependent, X. Patch things up with her if you feel bad about lying, or don’t! You’ll still get paid anyways.”

The blonde lady made an uncertain expression. “I can do that?” She glanced at the screen, and back to her Master and Koyo. “Just like that, on my report?”

“Absolutely! You’re Ar-” MHXX put a hand to her Master’s mouth, effectively silencing her. “Oi, don’t use my real name in public!”

“Mmmph!” Jun mumbled a garbled apology as the Foreigner released her hand. “Whoopsie! But with that being said, you technically have the authority to do it.”

“Hmmm. As much as I dislike my son, I suppose I have no choice. This can be one way my treacherous offspring can repay me for past crimes.” And with that, the negative balance dropped considerably, though the numbers remained an ugly red. MHXX beamed. “Master, it already looks better!”

Somewhere in Chaldea, a certain Knight of Treachery sneezed and unexpectedly felt happy.

“Well, that’s one small step for a Foreigner,” said Jun, grinning at the new total. “And a giant leap towards financial justice!” Koyo roared in approval, and all of them exchanged high fives. "Now, let's see what else we can mess with here. We won't stop until you get a refund!" 

Meanwhile from the entrance of the Command Room, someone was watching the three celebrate. She snacked on strawberry daifuku, leering at a certain Foreigner. She had tailed them all the way from the cafeteria, curious as to what her old friend was up to. And what did she find but her old frenemy performing shady acts with Master and a fellow Berserker!

Something was up, but the unknown observer knew this: it would be perfect blackmail to get that bothersome X back with for never cleaning their room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changed the spacing. Not sure if this is better, but I'll stick with it for consistency.


End file.
